Introduction to the Quest
One crisp fall morning, you arrive early at the door to your Plots, Paragraphs, and Potions class in the far west wing of the Merrows’ Moon castle. There is going to be a test on editing some stories that you have been working on since class started. And you’ve decided you want to warm up your quill with a few exercises before the class starts. You are nervous about the prospect of dissolving your story into a cauldron of Style Revitalization Potion that you brewed last week. You know the test will ask you to re-construct your story from a messy mass of goo, and you are worried that this will be difficult.
But the classroom is not empty. Just inside, a much older student, whom you know is re-taking the class, sits at one of the desks.
At the sight of you, his mouth curls into a sneer.
“If it isn’t the show-off newbie,” he taunts.
You know he is just bitter because your last story received more positive feedback than his did. So you try to ignore him, and you turn towards the back of the room. But he blocks your way.
“You think you’re really something, don’t you,” he says. “Well, I’m going to teach you a lesson. See how well you can write with THIS jinx in your way.”
Before you can resist, he puts his magic eraser to your forehead, gives a little tug, and yanks a handful of words out of your mind. They dissolve immediately into the air while he smacks his meaty hands together, like he is brushing crumbs off of them.
You know these kinds of jinxes are only temporary. Words can only be lost for so long before they find their way home. But this couldn’t have come at a worse time. You REALLY want to do well on this test.
Feigning mock concern, the bully leans over and squints at you. “Dear, dear,” he tuts. “However are you feeling?”
You try to answer defiantly, I am fine. But your throat catches on the word “am.” Suddenly, you are not sure what you are trying to say. What was that word again? How did it go?
The bully smiles as you fumble. “I have,” he informs you, “temporarily removed all ‘being’ verbs from your vocabulary. You will not be able to use words like ‘am,’ ‘is,’ ‘are,’ ‘were,’ ‘was,’ and so on for the next hour at least. Not even to form the past or present progressive tense. So. Let’s see how well you do on this story revision exam NOW.”
Instructions:
Re-write a portion of the story (300 words minimum) that you submitted for the last challenge, or something else you wrote recently, using ABSOLUTELY NO form of the “to be” verb anywhere. This may feel very awkward. But try to do your best to make the language sound natural regardless. You still want to do well on your exam for this class to put the bully in his place.
Keep in mind that, in some places, you will simply be able to substitute another verb for “is” or “was.” But, in other places, you may need to re-arrange the whole phrase, or even the whole sentence, to work around this limitation. In particular, you may need to re-work sentences that use the “passive voice” into the “active voice.”
When you are done, make sure to share both your best sentence that resulted from this exercise and also your silliest or most awkward-sounding sentence in the comments below.
And don’t worry! By the time you finish this side quest, the jinx will have worn off, and all of your “being” verbs will have returned to you, as normal.
